Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Dreams that Haunt

So I had a dream the other night, it was kind of depressing, but I think that I'll share it with the 2 or 3 of you who read this site anyway. Here it goes.

I don't know what time of day it was, it had to be sometime in the midmorning. The sky was already a pale blue, the sun hidden behind the wispy clouds as it ventured to it's noontime azimuth, but the air outside was still cool as it kissed my cheek, and dew still clung tightly to the blades of grass and the clovers that made up the lush green lawn. As I stepped out onto the back deck to behold the surroundings, I was reminded of a sadness in my heart, today was the day of my father's wedding. This was his fourth wedding, and I didn't hold anything specific against his new bride, except that historically my father did not pick the best women to betroth. From the left I saw her and my father round the house, dressed in their wedding day finest, and I stepped down the stairs into the yard and to give them both a hug and my blessings. The blessings were of course half hearted, but I wanted at least to be polite. In all honesty I didn't know the woman, but I was sure that I probably didn't like her. "You know she has a daughter your age" my father said to me, as though this was some coincidence of special magnificence, but I barely gave it a second thought.

I'm not sure if I was bored or overwhelmed with the situation, but the cause doesn't really matter I think. I decided to slip worlds. To slip worlds sounds like an amazing feat to the uninitiated, but is quite common and ordinary for those who have learned how to do so. The world we see is one of many, and they are not so separate. With skill one can learn to slip under the thing veil that separates these worlds, and explore entire other universes.

I found myself on a boardwalk, the sun was setting, and the stars were already in the sky, which was a brilliant shade of deep violet. I listened to the soft sounds of the waves as the washed up on the beach, and walked around the oddly shaped boardwalk, until mine eyes happened upon a woman. She was a little taller than me, not by much. Her skin was soft and white as porcelain, her lips a deep black. Here eyes were blue, and the eyeliner she wore was black and red. Her hair was black as well, a few inches long, spiked up. She wore a dog collar with steel spikes. Her outfit was leather, elegant but simple, ankle pants and a leather and cloth v-neck shirt. We began to speak.

I was enthralled by her grace and beauty, and I learned that she was the daughter my father had spoken about, and a fellow world slipper. We spent a great deal of time talking, when to my surprise, she embraced me and kissed me deeply and for an infinite moment, I was lost in her lips. Then something happened that had never happened before, I blipped, I was, for the blink of an eye, not in this world any more. It was as though I had disappeared for the briefest moment, but when I returned, she was gone. I looked around, wondering where she could have gone, when I ran across a strange old man.

The man was short, no more than 3 and a half feet tall, wearing a yellow rain coat, and a Vietnamese style pointed hat, he had thick glasses and a white beard that touched the floor. He told me that she had gone. My heart dropped and as I tried to get more information from him, I glanced upward into the ever darkening sky and I saw her face among the clouds. We spoke at length, the visage in the sky and me. I completely disregarded the old man, and walked to a secluded part of the boardwalk. I told her that I longed for her embrace once more, I longed to be with her forever.

Suddenly, she appeared before me, ethereal, but more than just a face in the clouds, and she walked toward me. I looked at her and began to cry and reached for the vision, and pulled her toward me, and my love gave her substance. We fell backwards onto a higher section of the boardwalk and were lost again in each-others arms. Not more than a night had passed though, when I went for a walk and returned to find a letter from her. She was gone.

My heart sunk deeper than the depths of the ocean who's sound once soothed me, and I fell down on all fours in the sand and let out a howl. She had said in the letter that she had gotten online, and searched for my name to learn more about me, in a journal entry I had written, I had talked about spending time at a graveyard. She was amazed at the apparent cruelty of this, and had left me.

In an instant my world was shattered, I had planned to ask her to wed me, and she was gone now. I looked to the sky and saw her face again, and begged her to return, but she told me that she regrets having even been allowed to return once, to take form again and she was gone forever. As her face faded from the sky I cried out her name, but there was nothing.

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